Thursday, April 14, 2011
From one grandparent to another
It is only as a last resort and a feeling of sad desperation that I write you this letter. I am hoping, against all odds, that it will somehow make a difference.
Due to the fact that Kerri has chosen to try and eliminate David from Brian’s life, I too have no role, as a loving grandparent, in his life. I can’t help but wonder how you would feel if the situation were reversed and you were kept from contacting or seeing Brian.
It is apparent that Kerri is consumed with anger, vengeance, hatred and jealousy. What a sad way for a young woman to live her life. This is a path that she, as an adult, has chosen to take. Tragically, Brian has no choice in the matter, but she is dragging him down this path with her. Are you aware that she has now been in contempt of court four times? I can’t help but wonder what, in God’s name, can she be thinking to keep people who love and miss her son out of his life? Can she possibly think that this is in his best interest?
The young woman that David is now so blessed to have in his life is such a fine example of what a loving mother does for her child. God knows, she too could be filled with anger and hatred for her ex-husband. She has chosen, instead, to put her child’s welfare first and take the high road. Her daughter sees her father regularly, spends vacations with him and, when she can’t be with him, her mother very generously arranges a skype visit. The civil and cordial relationship she has with her ex-husband is what is best for her daughter, so she is mature enough to put her feelings aside. The fact that Kerri had her friends e-mail this young woman to try and convince her that David is a jerk is so sophomoric and immature.
It really is time to start putting Brian’s welfare first. He has the right to know that his father and grandmother love him with all their hearts and miss him terribly.
Tragically, I fear that irreparable harm has already been done to Brian due to Kerri’s maniacal control over him. In the past three years, Kerri has managed to keep him away from David for a total of over one year. Does she believe that Brian is her possession and she has sole ownership of him? I have put several provisions in place for Brian to someday learn how much I and David have loved and missed him. Sadly, he won’t learn this until he is older, if Kerri continues to prevent our contact with him. Even more sadly, he could very well come to hate his mother for the way events are unfolding. Believe me, I do not wish for this. I want nothing more for this precious child than to love both his parents and all of his grandparents. Is Kerri so insecure that she does not want anyone else to love her son or for him to love others? I sincerely hope not.
Any time spent with Brian would be greatly treasured. And rest assured, I have never and would never say anything negative to him about his mother. I know that Brian has heard many things said about his Dad (as he has relayed them to me, on the occasions I have been with him ) and that is truly pathetic. I wish everyone could act as adults and just treat each other with simple civility and kindness for the benefit of Brian. He is what this letter is about and I write it with sincerity, earnestness and deep love for both my son and my grandson. As parents and grandparents yourselves, I hope you can understand this
Due to the fact that Kerri has chosen to try and eliminate David from Brian’s life, I too have no role, as a loving grandparent, in his life. I can’t help but wonder how you would feel if the situation were reversed and you were kept from contacting or seeing Brian.
It is apparent that Kerri is consumed with anger, vengeance, hatred and jealousy. What a sad way for a young woman to live her life. This is a path that she, as an adult, has chosen to take. Tragically, Brian has no choice in the matter, but she is dragging him down this path with her. Are you aware that she has now been in contempt of court four times? I can’t help but wonder what, in God’s name, can she be thinking to keep people who love and miss her son out of his life? Can she possibly think that this is in his best interest?
The young woman that David is now so blessed to have in his life is such a fine example of what a loving mother does for her child. God knows, she too could be filled with anger and hatred for her ex-husband. She has chosen, instead, to put her child’s welfare first and take the high road. Her daughter sees her father regularly, spends vacations with him and, when she can’t be with him, her mother very generously arranges a skype visit. The civil and cordial relationship she has with her ex-husband is what is best for her daughter, so she is mature enough to put her feelings aside. The fact that Kerri had her friends e-mail this young woman to try and convince her that David is a jerk is so sophomoric and immature.
It really is time to start putting Brian’s welfare first. He has the right to know that his father and grandmother love him with all their hearts and miss him terribly.
Tragically, I fear that irreparable harm has already been done to Brian due to Kerri’s maniacal control over him. In the past three years, Kerri has managed to keep him away from David for a total of over one year. Does she believe that Brian is her possession and she has sole ownership of him? I have put several provisions in place for Brian to someday learn how much I and David have loved and missed him. Sadly, he won’t learn this until he is older, if Kerri continues to prevent our contact with him. Even more sadly, he could very well come to hate his mother for the way events are unfolding. Believe me, I do not wish for this. I want nothing more for this precious child than to love both his parents and all of his grandparents. Is Kerri so insecure that she does not want anyone else to love her son or for him to love others? I sincerely hope not.
Any time spent with Brian would be greatly treasured. And rest assured, I have never and would never say anything negative to him about his mother. I know that Brian has heard many things said about his Dad (as he has relayed them to me, on the occasions I have been with him ) and that is truly pathetic. I wish everyone could act as adults and just treat each other with simple civility and kindness for the benefit of Brian. He is what this letter is about and I write it with sincerity, earnestness and deep love for both my son and my grandson. As parents and grandparents yourselves, I hope you can understand this
This is so well written and could not have been stated any better.
ReplyDeleteDo you know the mother that is being written about? Or do you know the father who is writing the other blog? Before supporting one or the other - maybe you should learn all the facts instead of letting someones angry and ignorant rants be what motivates you to support them. (The father is always at war with someone.)
ReplyDeleteIN RESPONSE TO ANNONYMOUS WHO POSTED ON 4-18-11 4:52pm
ReplyDeleteI don’t have to know the parents or the grandparents for that matter. Parental Alienation is wrong no matter who does it or why. Anyone involved with parental alienation surly isn’t thinking about the children involved.
You say that the father is always at war with someone. Last I knew the United States was always at war with someone. Does that make everyone who lives here a bad person? US soldiers go to war to protect our rights. With this type of thinking our soldiers shouldn’t be allowed to be anywhere near our children since they are “always at war.” God help us.
Do some research on parental alienation and see just what it does to children. Read stories about children that have been alienated from their parents. Read how their lives have been affected. It’s not to say that all alienated children will have problems but there are a large percent that do. They are more likely to commit crimes, be involved with substance abuse, have emotional issues and they are even at a hirer risk for suicide.
Funny thing, I haven’t heard you say that the father was convicted of a crime. Is it because he has no criminal record? I haven’t heard you say that he has done anything wrong other then to fight to see his child that he has been denied access to by the custodial parent.
Instead of picking sides, why don’t you get involved as a mediator and help facilitate the father seeing his child or if you want to choose a side, why not side with the child and neither one of the parents?
As far as supporting the father who writes the other blog I have never once stated that I support him. My fight is against parental alienation. I support what he is trying to accomplish which is to see his child and to put an end to his son being in the middle. Apparently I am an ally of fighting for the same cause which is to stop parental alienation so if you want to categorize me in your mind as being his supporter then so be it.
I personally know about kids being put in the middle. My ex has done this with my children. She has done everything in her power to make my kids hate me. I know how it feels to see your ex tell your children while your standing there watching, “You don’t want to grow up to be like dad.”
My ex threatened me for years to take my children from me. Numerous times she told me while married that she would take the children and I would never see them again. Am I making this up? I have the proof in the records from the marriage counselor who intervened and told my ex that she couldn’t take the kids and flee the state as I had parental rights.
In the end, I can’t be with my children or have a father and son relationship because of the alienation tactics my ex used and still is using today.
Again, you want to do something productive? Instead of casting a stone about which parent is right or wrong, maybe you should get involved for the child’s sake and speak to both parents and tell his mom and dad, “Your chi
Also in Response to "Anonymous" on 4/18
ReplyDeletePersonally knowing victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome is completely irrelevant, and it seems to me that you have not carefully read the articles on this blog, as it is clear that the only "side" people are choosing to take is that of anyone desperately trying to fight the injustice of our pathetic family courts. When you ask those who are suffering from this to share their stories, and check those stories against textbook definitions of PAS, the similarities are so striking that it is unfathomable that there are still those out there who refuse to acknowledge that PAS does exist and is in fact rampant. It is one thing to hear stories of Parental Alienation, but it is quite another to live it and watch it senselessly destroy your family. It is simply UNPRODUCTIVE to sit here and try to cast blame on individuals who are reaching out for support and erroneously labeling their stories “ignorant rants”- which in itself is quite ignorant.
Thank you Em. This is well stated.
ReplyDeleteI want to start with "anonymous," the innocuous faceless name that seems to be the authority on fact-finding and in his/her omniscience, appears to have so many of the facts and data in line that he/she can make the assessment that a commentator is "ignorant."
ReplyDeleteI can state that I conceal my identity only in the interests of my pending litigation, but why would "anonymous" conceal their identity? Are they a Bar-licensed attorney and/or GAL that doesn't want to poison their already pathetic practice? I predict that this widespread injustice will have the lid blown off of it in due time. I personally, will not rest until it is absolutely certain that the masses are aware, or have the resources to become aware of what the family court system is doing to destroy families. These parasitic blood-suckers, such as the unethical attorneys, GALs, marital "masters," and others listed right on the front page of this blog will most assuredly be exposed in the most viral way. What then will they do when their reputations are completely destroyed by their own unethical practices exposed?