- She was verbally abused as a child, witnessed it in her own family, or was verbally abused by a previous partner.
- She has low self-esteem.
- She has an intense temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
- Her sense of power or control depends on her partner's acquiescence and his performance per her demands. She feels "in control" only if her partner is totally passive and giving in to all of her preferences and decisions.
- She has rigid expectations or fantasies of marriage, partnership, or men, and will not compromise. She expects him to behave according to her expectations of what her partner should be like; perhaps the way her parents' marriage was, or its opposite. She demands that he change to accommodate her expectations.
- She projects the blame for all relationship difficulties onto her partner. She wouldn't get angry if only he would be who she wants him to be... She wouldn't drink if he didn't make her unhappy... She denies the need for counseling because there's "nothing wrong with her, only with him." She might not want him to get counseling because she's threatened by the threat of an outsider "taking sides" with him.
- Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire to control their mates.
- Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Her primary, if not exclusive, relationship is with her husband/boyfriend.
- She may be described as having a dual personality -- she is either sweet or exceptionally cruel and sharp. She is selfish or generous depending on her mood.
- A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. She can be sweet, calm, charming and convincing.
- The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn't relate to her partner as a person in his own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when she's angry. She assumes that he is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant other -- often her father (or other family member or authority figure).
WANTED FOR UNETHICAL "WALL OF SHAME"
WANTED FOR THE UNETHICAL "WALL OF SHAME"
Information to post on Unethical NH Attorneys, Guardian Ad Litems, Marital Masters, Judges or any other persons involved in "Judicial Child Abuse" or "Judicial Child Neglect." Please email details to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will not post your identity or give out your personal information. ?xml:namespace>
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
What Are The Characteristics Of Women Who Are Abusive And Violent?
The characteristics of men or women who are abusive fall into three categories.
- Alcohol Abuse. Alcohol abuse is a major cause and trigger in domestic violence. People who are intoxicated have less impulse control, are easily frustrated, have greater misunderstandings and are generally prone to resort to violence as a solution to problems. Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics.
- Psychological Disorders. There are certain psychological problems, primarily personality disorders, in which women are characteristically abusive and violent toward men. Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women. Approximately 1 to 2 percent of all women have a Borderline Personality disorder. At least 50% of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with woman who have a Borderline Personality disorder. The disorder is also associated with suicidal behavior, severe mood swings, lying, sexual problems and alcohol abuse.
- Unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions. Women who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands of men. These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety, frustration and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior. In fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol. They blame men rather than admit their problems, take responsibility for how they live their lives or do something about how they make themselves miserable. They refuse to enter treatment and may even insist the man needs treatment. Instead of helping themselves, they blame a man for how they feel and believe that a man should do something to make them feel better. They will often medicate their emotions with alcohol. When men can't make them feel better, these women become frustrated and assume that men are doing this on purpose.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Parental Alienation Is Like A Spider Web – It Begins In The Center With The Alienating Parent And Continues To Spiral Outward Into An Intricate Woven And Detailed Web – It’s Amazing Who Will Get Caught In It.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The following is a post from the blog NH Judges Are Sodomites at the following link: http://nhjudgesaresodomites.blogspot.com/2010/12/cynthia-gilman-lawyer-refuses-to.html. This post earns Cynthia P. Gilman the honor of being on the Unethical “Wall of Shame” at the bottom of this page.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
1. This grievance is against Cynthia P. Gilman, Esq. of The Law Offices of Cynthia P. Gilman, at
2. I am the Respondent in the case XXXXX in the Cheshire Superior Court.
3. The Petitioner, is being represented by Cynthia P. Gilman, Esq. of
4. False statements of material fact by Cynthia P. Gilman, Esq.:
- a. In a Motion to the Cheshire Superior Court, Cynthia Gilman made impossibly false “statements of fact,” maliciously implicating the Respondent as being several months in arrears on support.
- b. This action is directly counter to N.H. R. Prof. Conduct 3.3(a)(1), “A lawyer shall not knowingly make a false statement of fact or law to a tribunal or fail to correct a false statement of material fact or law previously made to the tribunal by the lawyer.”
5. Wanton act to facilitate contempt and acting as an accessory to child abuse:
- a. On December 16, 2010, the Petitioner filed a motion for and was granted a temporary restraining order against the Respondent.
- b. On December 22, 2010 the Petitioner was explicitly Ordered by the Lynn District Court of Lynn, MA that she was to abide by the Parenting Plan set forth in the matter of 08-M-0302.
- c. At 4:51pm the Respondent contacted the Petitioner's counsel, Cynthia P. Gilman, Esq. by phone regarding visitation pursuant to the Parenting Plan.
- d. During this call it was indicated that Atty. Gilman had contacted her client; while at the same time informing her client that defying orders of visitation would be an act of contempt, Atty. Gilman explicitly stated, “I recommended to my client that she not show for visitation.”
- e. To make matters worse, this recommendation to refuse to facilitate visitation comes the day before the Respondent was to spend Christmas Eve with his son; through this disgraceful action, Cynthia Gilman has acted directly as an accessory to both contempt and alienative abuse of the parties' 7-year-old child.
6. The Petitioner had a history of bad faith conduct leading to several Contempt findings against her; it is likely that she was counseled made this recommendation with knowledge that Contempt, even of visitation matters, carries virtually no weight in the Cheshire Superior Court.
7. The actions of Cynthia P. Gilman, Esq. are abhorrent acts of child abuse; furthermore, N.H. R. Prof. Conduct 3.4(a)(c) clearly states, “A lawyer shall not knowingly disobey an obligation under the rules of a tribunal except for an open refusal based on an assertion that no valid obligation exists.”
8. A “valid obligation” pursuant to a Parenting Plan not only existed in
9. As a member of the Bar in both NH and MA, Attorney Gilman ought to recognize her obligation to the law and the Orders of the courts, but instead stated a belligerently steadfast refusal to act in accordance with those Orders.
10. Attorney Gilman's actions, having been perpetrated with knowledge that her counsel was to commit an act of contempt and fraud against a Court, simply cannot be a more clear violation of N.H. R. Prof. Conduct 8.4(a), “It is professional misconduct for a lawyer to violate the Rules of Professional Conduct, knowingly or induce another to do so, or through the acts of another.”
11. Attorney Gilman's actions, are counter to Rule 8.4(b), as she has perpetrated a “criminal act that reflects adversely on the lawyer's honesty, trustworthiness or fitness as a lawyer.”
12. By recommending that her client commit a willful act of contempt, she has disregarded Rule 8.4(c), “It is professional misconduct for a lawyer to engage in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation.”
13. Through recommending a contemptuous act to her client, Attorney Gilman has taken violation of Rule 8.4(e) to a new extent, not only implying an ability to achieve results, but in fact actively guaranteeing results “by means that violate the Rules of Professional Conduct or other law.”
14. Bearing the title of “Esquire” ought imply that admission to the Bar holds one to a higher standard; this clearly contemptuous and abusive behavior from an “Attorney at Law” disgraces and disreputes the entirety of the legal profession, and the New Hampshire Bar as a whole.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Divorced Fathers with Visitation Orders Still ‘Powerless’ to See Children (From the website of Fathers and Families)
Here is a great article I found from the Fathers and Families website at http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=11416. I have been reading about this group. They are very active in trying to get laws changed so that both parents have equal access to their children.
Divorced Fathers with Visitation Orders Still ‘Powerless’ to See Children
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I recently came upon some information on Attorney John J. Cronin of
Manchester's Union Leader Runs Article About Marital Master David Forrest - Supreme Court Decision An Example Of His Bias Against Men
New Hampshire Sunday News (Union Leader) Sunday, Mar. 22, 2009
If you're seeking a fault-based divorce in
That's the message the state Supreme Court sent in a March 5 ruling that set a standard for finding one spouse at fault. The ruling may affect future divorces involving a claim that one spouse caused what state law describes as "serious injury to health or endangered reason" to the other, one of nine grounds for fault-based divorce in
"The decision raised the bar. It's got to be serious injury, not just hurt feelings," said Nashua attorney William Aivalikles, who represented Daniel R. Guy's appeal of the divorce filed by his wife, Joni Guy.
Joni Guy claimed sexually suggestive e-mails Mr. Guy exchanged with a former girlfriend caused Mrs. Guy to be "angry, upset and distraught," according to court documents.
Senior Associate Justice Linda S. Dalianis, citing previous cases, said Mrs. Guy's claim was based on an 1840 law that allowed divorce when the claim didn't meet the standard for legal cruelty but the conduct "might make life intolerable and death welcome."
Being "angry, upset and distraught" isn't enough to meet that standard, Dalianis wrote, citing similar past cases that involved constant drunken abuse by domineering husbands, including a threat of murder. In each of those cases, the behavior caused some effect to the "innocent" party, such as becoming highly nervous, losing weight or undergoing counseling, Dalianis wrote.
"This kind of effect upon (Mrs. Guy's) physical and mental health is insufficient, as a matter of law, to sustain a divorce. ... In cases involving a divorce upon these grounds, the effect upon the 'innocent' spouse has been much more severe than mere anger and upset and the conduct in which the 'guilty' spouse engaged was more brutal than merely e-mailing his former girlfriend," Dalianis wrote in the unanimous decision.
Few fault-based divorces
Only about 1.3 percent of all
In 2007, the most recent year for which the
Experts estimate between 5 and 10 percent of divorces are filed as fault-based, but fewer than 2 percent are granted, according to the state Division of Vital Records.
Before no-fault divorce became part of
In fault-based divorces, marital assets can be divided to favor the "innocent" party, Aivalikles said.
In the Guy divorce, the original property settlement, which was partially based on Mr. Guy's fault, was vacated in the Supreme Court's ruling.
Mr. Guy is expected to get an additional $56,000 as a result, Aivalikles said.
David Forrest, the marital master who heard the divorce, had recommended the fault-based grounds and the recommendation was approved by Judge William Groff.
The trial court dismissed Mrs. Guy's 2007 fault claims of habitual drunkenness and adultery against her husband of 18 years.
"It's safe to say my wife believed a lot of things that turned out to be untrue," said Mr. Guy, who added that he neither has a drinking problem nor committed adultery.
The ruling will likely mean Daniel Guy, a disc jockey and broadcast engineer, gets to keep at least half of his $112,000 inheritance, which was an issue in the settlement, he said.
"(Justice Dalianis) took more of a common-sense approach to my case. Finding fault was just a stretch," Mr. Guy said.
Joni Guy couldn't be reached for comment, and her attorney, Francis Holland of
Alternatives to litigation
Hastings, who wrote "The New Hampshire Divorce Handbook," said, "I don't litigate anymore. I felt it was enabling people to treat each other badly and hurt children."
She offers services to families, including mediation and collaborative practice, also called "no-court divorce."
Attorney Amy Wolfson of
Depending on how outrageous the fault, Wolfson said, the asset split could be 55-45, 60-40 or whatever the judge decides. In one of her cases, she said, her client walked away with 90 percent of the marital assets, though she said such cases are "extraordinary."
Mediation isn't always the best option in divorce cases, Wolfson said.
"Mediation works well when both parties are of equal bargaining power," she said. "When you have power disparity in the marriage, it doesn't work well."
Randy Kessler, secretary of the Family Law Section of the American Bar Association, said
Even if fault isn't alleged in a divorce suit, Kessler said, fault may be found and used as leverage in reaching a favorable settlement for the injured party. Fault also can be relevant in deciding settlements and child-custody arrangements, he said.
Let’s not forget that Marital Master David S. Forrest can’t sign off on divorce decisions without a Judge reviewing his decisions and also signing off on them. Judge John P. Arnold and Judge Brian Tucker signed off on Forrest’s decisions in my divorce case. These Judges in my opinion are just as guilty for the bad rulings that Forrest continually makes since it is their job to supervise Forrest.
My ex-wife brought three different fault grounds against me in my divorce. I brought forth one petition on irreconcilable differences. Her three charges against me in her cross petition:
Friday, December 17, 2010
Motivation For My Blog - I’M DOING IT FOR MY TWO BOYS AND FOR ALL THE CHILDREN AND THEIR FAMILYS THAT HAVE BEEN AFFECTED OR WILL BE AFFECTED BY PARENT ALIENATION - I Want Others To Be Able To Learn From History. Parent Alienation Is Child Abuse And It Needs To Stop!
NH like all states has Child Abuse Laws. There are also laws that mandate who has to report suspected abuse. These laws are great but they fail to consider Parent Alienation abuse. Below is a quick overview of the law.
Child Abuse Laws New Hampshire
169-C:3, 169-C:29, et seq.
What Constitutes Abuse
Sexual abuse, intentional physical injury, psychological injury such that child exhibits symptoms of emotional problems generally recognized to result from consistent mistreatment or neglect, or physical injury by other than nonaccidental means
Mandatory Reporting Required By
Physician, surgeon, medical examiner, psychiatrist, optometrist, psychologist, therapist, nurse, dentist, chiropractor, hospital personnel, Christian Science practitioner, school teacher or official, social worker, day care worker, foster/child care worker, law enforcement official, priest, minister, rabbi, any other person
Basis of Report of Abuse/neglect
Having reason to suspect that a child has been abused or neglected
To Whom Reported
Department of Health and Human Services
Penalty for Failure to Report or False Reporting
Knowing violation: misdemeanor