Parental Alienation Condoned By Attorney Jaye L. Rancourt, GAL/Attorney Douglas A. Thornton, Marital Master David S. Forrest, and Judge John P. Arnold (Part 1)

I like to think back to a time when all was normal with my children.  As a dad working shift work, time with my boys was always precious.  I did everything I could do to be part of my kid’s lives.  I remember the birthday parties.  Funny, I was always the one running around at the parties playing with the kids.  I loved my children and they loved me.  That has changed after the divorce.

In my 12 years of marriage, I never contemplated divorce until I was at the end of my rope.  My vicious ex-wife began to play games with me a year before I ever contemplated divorce.  I remember the last straw to break the camels back which was a Sunday morning just before going to work.  I was getting dressed and preparing my lunch.  My ex-wife was sitting on the couch and looked at me just before I was heading out to work and stated to me, “You need to choose between your job and your family.”  I told her she needed to grow up.  She repeated her ultimatum.  I told her I will choose.  It will be my children, my job and she wouldn’t be in the picture. 

Games can be nasty.  Especially when dealing with someone that is a sick person.  I was working a police detail one evening.  I received a call from my ex-wife’s mother.  She told me that my sister had called her for advice and that my mother was quite ill (she was an LPN). Later, I received a call from my ex-wife just as I was getting ready to head home.  She was inquiring when I would be home.  I told her shortly.  She told me that she had been waiting up to discuss something with me.  She went on to tell me that my mother was sick.  I told her that I knew as her mother had called me earlier.  That set my ex off.  She told me that she wanted to be the one to tell me this.  I remember her calling her mother the next day and yelling at her for calling me and screaming at her mother telling her she had no business to call me about my mother. 

When I got home sometime after midnight, I went inside my house and I took off my gear and went upstairs.  I went into the kid’s bedroom to check on them and they were sound asleep.  I then went into the master bedroom.  My ex was not in bed.  I found this quite odd since I had spoken with her a short time earlier.  I went into the living room to see if my ex was there and had fallen asleep on the couch.  She was nowhere to be seen. 

I then noticed that the front door was ajar.  We never would leave this door open or unlocked.  I searched the house for her.  I looked outside, in vehicles, upstairs in the unfinished rooms, on the main floor, the basement.  I couldn’t find her anywhere.  I was ready to call dispatch and ask for State Police when I said to myself, let me check again and this time let me be a little more thorough. 

I started with the unfinished upstairs.  I looked in both unfinished rooms.  As I shinned my flashlight in the unfinished closet, I saw my ex curled up in a ball sleeping on the floor.  Feeling that she was intentionally doing this to make a statement (Which my ex told me that was the case at a later date), I went back downstairs and sat on the couch.  A short time later, she came downstairs and walked past me without saying a word.  She had a blanket.  She then went outside to her vehicle and proceeded to sleep in her vehicle for two hours.  I ended up having to sit up all night for fear of what she was going to do next.  I felt that I couldn’t trust her and did not feel safe around her. 

The following day my ex was quite nasty to me.  I asked her what she was acting this way.  She told me that it was because of the way I was treating her and she was making a statement.  I then had to listen to her yell at her mother on the phone about her calling me last night to tell me that my mother was sick.  Now mind you the following evening wasn’t any better.  I was exhausted.  My ex-wife had caused me to stay awake for almost two days straight.  I hit the bed and was out immediately.  A short time later, I awoken and am half asleep.  My ex was grabbing my crotch trying to arouse me.  I said to her, what are you doing?  I haven’t been to sleep in two days.  My ex became outraged and pulled my penis about as hard as she could.  It hurt so bad I jumped out of be and said to her, you’re sick.  I went upstairs to the unfinished room, found a mattress pad to lay on with some blankets and proceeded to get some sleep.  That was the last time I would sleep in the same bed with her.  I actually had to begin sleeping in the unfinished room to get away from my ex.  I had to barricade the door at night for fear of what she would do.  Subsequently I decided to file for divorce. 

It was around this time that I started to become aware of the other games being played by my ex.  My brother called me a few times out of the clear blue to see how I was doing. He finally told me that my ex had called him and was concerned about me.  To be exact, she told my brother I was acting weird and had a “Chemical Imbalance.”  My ex even called my boss and wanted to meet with him at his house.  She tried to pull the same thing on him about the chemical imbalance. 

As time went on, my ex began making accusations that I was having multiple affairs.  Due to the nature of my job, I worked days, nights, weekends, etc.  It was not uncommon to get called into work as I was on call 24/7.  Her paranoia seemed to fuel her sickness.  The thing is I could always account for my time.  I was always at home, work, or with my family. 

Have you ever been threatened by your ex and told that you will never see your kids again?  Well I have.  Several times my ex went so far as to deny me the right to be with my kids while we were married and living together.  She would leave the house and look right at me with an evil grin ad tell me I would never see my children again. 

I recall during marriage counseling, my ex told the counselor that she was going to move out of state and take the kids away from me so that I would never see them again.  The counselor had to her that she couldn’t do that since I had parental rights. 

One day I received a call from a friend of mine that lives two hours away.  We had known each other for 30 years.  He said to me he had been thinking about me and thought we should get together for dinner somewhere in the middle.  I made plans to meet him one night in Amherst NH at Longhorn.  My ex was fully aware of my plans as I had told her where I was going and who I was meeting.  As a matter of fact she thought it was a good idea for me to see my friend and so much that my sixth sense kicked in.  I knew it was a set up. 

I met with my friend at Longhorn.  We ordered dinner.  Right after we ordered, I said to my friend, “So what did she tell you?”  He asked me what I was talking about.  I told my friend I had known him for nearly thirty years and knew that he was a poor liar.  My friend then told me, my ex had called him and stated that she was concerned about me.  Here goes the same old chemical balance story again.  She called my friends, my family, her family and my boss.  When this didn’t work, she then started telling everyone I was having an affair. 

I went onto explain to my friend that my ex was having issues.  I told him that I couldn’t deal with her anymore and explained how she was truly out of control.  She was spying on me and going through my personal belongings and checking up on me wherever I went.  I told him how every time she called me and checked up on me I was always where I told her I was going to be. 

Halfway into dinner, my friend’s daughter called him on his cell phone.  She told my friend that the phone just rang and she noticed the number was my land based phone number so she didn’t answer it as she knew that my ex and me had been having problems (Amazing that this teenaged girl knew of these problems since I never discussed them with her or my friend which leaves only one way she could have know which was by my ex communicating with my friend). 

After my friend hung up with his daughter, his phone rang again.  It was my ex calling.  Now mind you, I carried two cells phones at this time.  One phone belonged to my employer and one phone was my personal phone.  My ex had both phone numbers.    Neither of these two phones was called in an attempt to reach me.  My friend answered his phone my ex stated that she was looking for me and didn’t know if he had seen me.  My friend said I was right here with him.  He handed me his phone so I could talk to my ex. 

My ex stated that she had something going on at work and she didn’t want to call and disturb me and that was why she called my friend.  However since I was with him she was all set.  After I hung up the phone, my friend looked at me with disbelief.  He could not believe what just happened in front of his eyes.  I remember telling my friend see what I mean.  I can’t go anywhere without her checking on me.  She is sick. 

Getting home was no better.  When I got home, my ex met me at the basement door.  She was acting weird.  I asked her why she felt compelled to always check up on me.  She said that she had been talking to a friend and his wife was out so she thought the two of us were together having an affair (Incidentally these false and persistent accusations caused this other couples marriage to break up).  I was upset with my ex as our marriage counselor made us both agree to stop talking with this other couple and all of our friends and family while we were in counseling when my ex accused me of having an affair with this other person in front of the counselor.  If you had asked me, I think it was the other way around.  All summer long while I was at work, my ex spent numerous hours stopping by my friend’s place of business while his wife was at work (He worked alone). 

Oh, the ironic thing.  Guess who gave my ex the idea indirectly that I was having an affair?  My friend’s wife did.  It seems my ex was talking with my friend’s wife.  She was expressing that we were having issues.  My ex went onto tell my friend’s wife that I received calls at all hours of the night, I was always late on getting out of work and I quite often had to go into work late at night.  I was a police officer and supervisor in a small town.  That was my job.  My time was always accounted for through dispatch and town records.  However, my friend’s wife said to my ex, what do you mean by this?  Are you implying he is having an affair? 

My ex used a lot of this information to her advantage during the divorce proceeding.  She knew my weakness was my children and Jaye Rancourt made this the big contention of the divorce.  Attorney Jaye Rancourt and GAL Doug Thornton then began the process of painting me out to be a terrible father that thought of himself first and his kids last. 

Doug Thornton put a lot of weight to what my ex and her friends had to say about me.  I was accused by one on my ex-wife’s friends of not participating in activities with my kids.  In specific, I use to go to cub scouts for my oldest son once a week after school.  I was seldom absent.  While there I worked with the kids and assisted the pack leader.  Once, my ex’s friend was attending a meeting with her son.  She was seldom there.  I received a phone call and had to step out in the hallway to take it.  She told Thornton that I was seldom at the meetings and that when I was I was always on the phone.  Maybe Thornton should have talked to the scout leader.  He would have found out that I was seldom absent and that it was rare for me to pardon myself from time with the pack and I would only do so when other pending responsibilities could not be ignored such as an important phone call from work.  I was so dedicated to my son attending cub scouts that I had to go there in my police uniform many times because I didn’t want to take the time to change as I didn’t want to be late.  Thornton put weight to these lies, Rancourt capitalized on these lies and Forrest was so stupefied that he couldn’t see himself through the trees (You know the Forest through the trees).  These people are truly evil. 

Another issue of contention capitalized by my ex was the Pinewood Derby.  My ex made a scene with me and was truly out of control.  She and Attorney Jaye Rancourt blamed me for being the one to make a scene.  GAL Doug Thornton went along with what they said and conveyed this to Master Forrest.  Master Forrest used this against me.  I had a written statement from the pack leader that my ex was the one out of control and I at all times acted appropriately.  Even when the pack leader testified that my ex was out of control Forrest refused to hear it.  Again, these people are truly evil.  If you are a man and you want to get a fair hearing on a divorce and custody, don’t do it in front of these people and if you do you may just want to bend over and you know what. 

And how about the joyful time of Christmas that comes each year?  I was scheduled to work Christmas day.  I managed to get someone to swap shifts with me.  My kids at the time were 8 and 4 years old.  I worked it out so that I worked overnight while my kids were asleep and I would be home prior to them waking up and be able to spend Christmas day with them.  Being a responsible dad, I told my kids that I had to work.  I would head to work after they went to bed and I would be home by the time they awoke.  I told them this so that they knew if they awoke in the night that my roommate would be there to take care of them.  For all practicable purposes I probably didn’t have to tell them but I was concerned that if they woke in the middle of the night and I wasn’t there they would be scared.  This worked great.  I got home an hour before the kids woke and had a great Christmas morning and I spend a great day with the kids.  Don’t you know that my ex complained to Doug Thornton who decided that I was selfish by not thinking of the kids and letting them be with their mother when I wasn’t around for Christmas Day.  Maybe Doug Thornton should have talked to some of my friends or family and found out the truth which was I spent Christmas day with my kids.  When I questioned Thornton about not speaking to my family and friends, his response was he doesn’t find it useful to speak to family members as he doesn’t give any weight to what they have to say. 

Do you think as a GAL Thornton should have spoken with the Cub Scout leader to see who was telling the truth and who was lying?  Do you think that Thornton should have questioned me and my roommate about Christmas instead of making the assumption that I wasn’t around and the kids should have spent Christmas day with their mother and by me denying them the day with their mother I wasn’t thinking of the kids?  Oh, did I mention that by the decree I had the kids for Christmas day. 

I could go on about these stories but this would be like writing War and Peace.  The important thing for anyone to understand is no matter how truthful you are.  No matter how kind you are.  No matter how honest you are.  Know matter how right you are, if you go in front of these people, you will not be believed and you will be penalized if you’re a man and a non-custodial parent.  Even when you provide physical evidence, you will not be believed.  Expect the worst.  Expect that if you have kids involved, their lives will be screwed up because of the methods of Parental Alienation allowed to be used by litigants.  Master David Forrest and Judge John Arnold refuse to deal with these types of issues and should be removed from the bench.  I think I would have been much better if I just walked away from my family instead of trying to be responsible and do the right thing.  I essentially was punished by Forrest and Arnold for doing the right thing. 

I fought to have 50/50 custody of my children.  Instead, David Forrest and John Arnold at the request of Jaye Rancourt gave me the right to see my kids every other weekend.  Oh, the kicker of this whole thing.  Rancourt and Forrest knew that I worked every Sunday and Rancourt made sure there was a clause in there that if I could not watch my kids for more then 4 hours during visitation, I had to return them to my ex so essentially on Sunday’s I would have had to wake my kids up by 5am so that I could drop them off to their mother and then pick them up at three in the afternoon to just drop them off a few hours later in the evening.  Essentially what Forrest and Arnold did was to allow me to only see my kids two days a month.  That’s 24 days a year.  How do you co-parent children with that type of schedule?  I did nothing to deserve being treated this way. 

I was looking for 50/50 custody of the children.  I wanted to have custody exchanges occur on Friday evenings either at the end of school or the end of the work day when the kids got out of childcare so that myself and my ex would have no contact with each other.  Instead, Forrest and Arnold signed off on a plan that would have me and my ex having contact with each other constantly.  When I had parenting time with my children that was near 50/50, the alienation was somewhat tolerable.  I was able to work with my kids and be there for them and counteract everything there mother was doing to warp their young impressionable minds.  It’s not easy.  You have to be patient with the kids and remember it’s not their fault. 

Now, I have been reduced to being a father that is only able to call his kids once a week (I will elaborate on the circumstances of this in a future blog).  When I speak with my kids they are hostile to me.  My oldest son who is 11 years old is very hostile to me.  He continually tells me how he doesn’t love me.  He tells me that I did something wrong.  When I ask him what I did, he can’t tell me.  My 7 year old is slightly less hostile towards me although he listens to his brother and has frequent outburst with me also.  Parental Alienation is a terrible thing.  As long as we have unethical Judges like John P. Arnold, Marital Masters like David S. Forrest, Attorneys like Jaye L. Rancourt and Guardian Ad Litems like Douglas A. Thornton, this problem will continue to fester. 

For Part 2 Click Here