Fathers deserve equal protections
Posted: Sunday, October 2, 2011 9:00 am
An American tragedy, rarely reported by the media, is how unfairly many divorced fathers are treated in the Family Court.
The court justifies this, claiming to act in the best interests of children. Is it in the best interest of children to put their fathers in jail when Daddy has lost his job, can’t find work, and falls behind in his support payments? Why aren’t the courts flexible, especially in today’s economy?
While it is a father’s responsibility to support his children, it is the court’s execution of this principle that is often so disturbing.
The court’s intransigence can extend to men who are not fathers, too. Recently, DNA proved a man was not the biological father. He was ordered to keep on paying. This is justice?
Apparently, adultery is permissible. What a wholesome value for a mother to instill in her child!
We often hear of “deadbeat dads.” What about “deadbeat moms” who won’t let fathers see their children? Daddy comes to pick up his kids but spiteful mommy isn’t home or she locks the door. Daddy can’t afford a lawyer because he’s paying child support.
Even if he can afford one, he’s wasting his time. The courts simply do not punish women who have custody of their children. So daddy keeps on paying or he is the one who can go to jail. It would be a wonderful world if judges were as diligent about enforcing a father’s visitation rights as they are about demanding payment.
It would be a wonderful world if women who don’t play by the rules were prosecuted. Women are not prosecuted, but men are persecuted.
“Persecuted” is the operative world.
The most common ruse used by some women is to falsely claim they feel threatened by the father. Restraining orders are then issued, sometimes at the drop of a hat, and now fathers are legally prevented from seeing their children and children prevented from seeing their fathers. When children are prevented from seeing their fathers, it is possible for some mothers to brainwash the children. Daddy doesn’t love you. He’s a bad man. He never comes to see you.
While it is true that some men do pose a threat, why do most judges accept a woman’s word as gospel?
Another fact that is overlooked is some women don’t use child support for their children. They spend the money on themselves and there is little food in the pantry or children’s clothes in the closet. If fathers are required to pay support, women should be required to prove to the court how the payments are spent, by producing receipts.
This should be a requirement of any divorce settlement and not done on a case-by-case basis. A mother doesn’t have to be a drug addict to ignore her children.
All these are examples of what may happen when mothers have custody of children but what if a father seeks custody at the original hearing? The only way a man will get custody is if his lawyers can prove that the woman is Dracula’s sister. The fact that women are mothers should not qualify them for sainthood.
Many problems in society can occur when children grow up without a male presence in their lives.
The relationship between children and their fathers is as important as any on Earth.
The court should do everything in its power to perpetuate this bond. Sadly, the reverse is often true.
The best interests of children will never be served as long as many divorced fathers are treated as second-class citizens, not as human beings who love their children.
Justice and goodness can never come from a system that is biased. Sexism is a perversion of justice. The treatment of many divorced fathers in Family Court is more than an American tragedy.
It is an abomination.
CHARLIE BERRY
Rindge
COMMENTS POSTED ON THE
· Major Peeve posted at 9:07 pm on Sun, Oct 2, 2011.
Too often fathers are treated as just the sperm donor and check writer. Too often men have to hire lawyers and pay more money besides child support just in order to be able to be a father to their children, and even when they win, most of the time they are weekend dads at best, unless the woman is a total screw up in jail. It's disgusting how men are treated in child custody cases. No wonder so many them give up, walk away and get the label of deadbeat dad.
When I was going through my divorce, my wife at the time reported to the police I choked her. I was never asked by a police authority if I did that. The judge as well never asked if I did that. The crisis worker at the domestic violence center never asked me if I did that. It simply became part of the record. So the next time a man does choke a woman, he has nothing to lose, he may as well just do it. This harms women as much as men.
No comments:
Post a Comment