Two Stories (Read Last Two Post)…………………
One side fights hard so you can hear the story………. Fighting Hard for the Kids that need to be heard and have been hurt by those …………
That are on the Other Side……
The side that fights hard to make sure you never hear the story ……………
There is yet another side - A side that sees the benefits of the NH Redress Committe and the benefit of oversight for both sides.
The story of the why the judiciary and officials of the courts would rather hurt the kids, than make decisions that will help them to become the happy, well adjusted, individuals, they deserve an opportunity to be and who will someday become parents themselves.
Why do the judge’s, marital masters, lawyers, GAL’s and others who benefit from the courts want to cover-up their process, ideology and decisions?
Why don’t they want a light to shine down on them? A bright light, letting all who look in see just how much they do to advocate for what’s in the best interest of the child? So everyone can see first hand and know with certainty the goodness they promote for the sake of the children? As they profess they do and want us to believe.
Instead, there is resistance. Will something deep, dark and sinister about the system be exposed if the public is allowed to look into this world?
What if the participants, the victims and the supporters of the children are allowed to have a voice? Will they expose the unthinkable?
Will we find that the system is broken and corrupt and doesn’t work, needs an overhaul and is extremely harmful to the children it professes to be protecting? Will we find that these judges, masters and lawyers and others have really known about this all along, but, have chosen to keep this a big secret, a secret for decades so they can reap great rewards from it?
After all, what would happen if one day they all woke up and the family court system worked in such a way that judges, masters , GAL’s and lawyers weren’t allowed to antagonize or promote ill will between the parties involved in the cases before them?
Isn’t taken advantage of a bad situation by making it worse, gaining from it and then gaining from it again and again, unethical and immoral at the very least?
Aren’t these questions that are being asked worthy of answers?
Why do so many involved with the courts think or better yet, why should they expect people to take them at their word, at face value with nothing to back it up? Nothing other than what we do is as wholesome as apple pie and we should just trust in that.
What evidence exists that what they do is in the name of the children, in the best interest of the children, when day in and out we hear stories otherwise?
The cases before the Redress Committee are alarming.
How many children are estranged from a loving parent because of an emotionally unstable custodial parent and an all too acquiescing family court filled with, judges, masters, lawyers, guardians, and programs all standing by waiting to gain financially?
How does the court system, except in extreme cases of documented and proven abuse, not just hearsay nonsense spewing from the mouths of those who have a vested interest and stake in continuing the animosity, intervene and deny children their right to both parents?
Who are these people and what is this system they call justice?
An Honest Judicial System would welcome this Redress Committee and would welcome the opportunity to show the world that there is nothing to the claims of bias, money laundering of attorney’s fees and the continued animosity the Judicial system helps create, certainly fosters and certainly encourages in these contentious litigations.
The courts have a history and a pattern of rewarding and pandering to one parent’s bad behavior by excluding the other parent and even eliminating them all together from a child’s life.
How do those who play in the judicial arena justify the taking of children from a loving parent and then holding them ransom by forcing unfair, financially debilitating, court ordered conditions on that parent if they ever want contact again? Conditions, the court and it’s officers know are simply a way to guarantee a set up of failures that will only force continued litigation?
Since when did the mandate being a “Perfect Parent” slip in and become the bar that the courts use to assess the value of a parents ability to be a parent?
We all have parents, whether our parents stayed together or not. None, not one is perfect. Most, if not all, only ever wanted the best for their children.
What makes this any different?
It’s time for some accountability where there has been none. There is much to gain by system that promotes animosity and gets rewards from promoting that animosity.
The best interest of the child has been lost in the shuffle of power hungry, money hungry court officials.
They don’t care about the children. They don’t care if families go bankrupt. If they did they would not allow children to be separated from either parent.
Regardless of whether the principle is believed or accepted, the bottom line is, the reality is, when one parent is allowed to drive up the legal fees because they want to fight, fight and fight some more, rather than let the children be part of the other parent’s life, that should be unacceptable. Fight so hard, that money is not a deterrence, nor is it an object of concern. They are negligent. They are not acting like a loving parent, concerned for the welfare and best development of the child.
And that’s when the courts should step in and start acting on behalf of the children.
That’s when the courts should get involved and not pander to that parent. Instead they do. Why?
One parent’s irrational thinking that inflicting revenge or punishment on another, by taking away the child, for some real or imaginary injustice inflicted upon them, somehow makes things right if the court panders to them?
Putting the child in the middle and taking away the child’s god given right to have two loving and caring parents should not be rewarded by the courts pandering to them, it should be admonished.
This behavior the courts and it’s officers protect and pander to comes with a cost to the very children that they are using as a pawn.
For every $1.00 spent on an attorney, or court fee, or court ordered program - $1.00 is taken out of the pot of money that could have been better spent on the child and the child’s future.
Judges and masters, through the use of financial affidavits mandatorily filled out and provided to the courts before EVERY court hearing , sworn affidavits of the finances of the individuals, see exactly how much money is spent on legal fees in each and every single court hearing that comes before them. They know first hand whether it’s been $1,000 or $100,000. They also know how much is in the bank, the equity in the house, the cars the parties drive and all other assets and aspects of finances of the parties.
When lawyers and judges – allow ordinary middle income people to spend 10’s of thousands of dollars, they are aware they don’t have, on legal costs – money they fully know the parties can’t financially afford, because also listed on these financial affidavits are the parties income, they should be found to be incompetent of performing their duties as officers of the court.
And yet, they do allow this to happen day in and day out, because the alternative of allowing new court action would be enforcing the orders already place. Orders the judges and masters put into place to begin with.
These officer’s of the courts usually don’t attempt to enforce their own orders unless it works against the non-custodial parent. Instead, they make new orders that they know they won’t enforce.
Why parents can’t get the courts to enforce their own orders is unjust in and of itself.
Why the courts don’t find an offending parent, and yes it is usually the custodial parent, in CONTEMPT for violating court orders becomes a mystery.
Why have any court orders to begin with, if enforcement of the offenders of those orders, yes usually women, go unpunished and are given no incentive, monetarily or otherwise, to stop the offensive behavior of not abiding by court orders they themselves asked for and were awarded.
What example does this NH Court believe it sets for children caught in the middle of these COURT GAMES? That it’s OK to violate the court orders if you are the custodial parent and keep the children and VISITOR parent away from each other, so long as you believe you have a good reason, real or imagined?
Remember, before the courts and the lawyers the people involved were a family. The children were exposed to two sets of values, personalities and parents, good or bad.
How many of the court cases in NH Courts right now, had any state agency involved prior to separation or divorce that intervened on behalf that family?
How many cases in front of the NH REDRESS Committee, had state agency involvement ONLY, after the courts and lawyers got involved and ONLY after the custodial parent refused to abide by the courts orders put in place?
How many involve false accusations made after the fact, by the custodial parent and are unfounded?
How many involve a custodial parent that did not to share custody of the children right from the beginning of the separation and wanted it that way?
How many proposed a non-custodial parent should be given a “VISITATION” schedule, “VISITOR in MY CHILD’S LIFE” status, of nothing more than alternating weekends in every month?
VISITOR status and still the offending custodial parent wants even less contact and continues to do everything to undermine even that little bit of time spent with the children.
How many children have been forced into “VISITING” the other parent?
Does anyone really believe the terminology being used is “parenting schedule”?
Just make sure that CHILD SUPPORT keeps coming. That’s seems the biggest concern for all – the court’s, judges, masters, guardians and anyone else connected that has a money interest in the outcome.
Not a pretty picture, because that is the children’s reality and most of us would rather put blinders on than deal with it.
When someone violates their probation, because they didn’t know, didn’t care, misunderstood, thought it best to handle things their way__________, fill in with blank with whatever excuse you want, DOES THE COURT REWRITE THE AGREEMENT and take all the excuses into consideration whilst doing so?
NO. Then why do they do it now? Custodial parent doesn’t mean BETTER PARENT.
It becomes a vicious a cycle, with a formula guaranteed to continue to promote hostility, animosity for the parties involved and huge payouts for the judicial system.
If there was nothing to gain it makes no sense the courts and attorneys would promote animosity when there was nothing they could collect from the parties.
The lawyers and judges feed the behavior of the offending parent, create the atmosphere that they will look out for the best interest of the children, which reinforces the offending parents bad parenting to begin with.
Yes, it is bad parenting when one parent pits the other parent against the children. Good reason or not.
Children have a right to freely and without strings attached be able to love both parents.
It’s normal and it’s healthy.
It’s not normal and it’s not healthy when a parent can not, will not, refuses to separate the children from the adult relationship, and refuses to, or is incapable of fostering a good relationship and good communication between the children and the other parent.
Then justifies it by imagining and then projecting that somehow the other parent is no good, inferior and the children are somehow better off without having to deal with that other parent.
That in and of itself is a form of child abuse. It’s emotional abuse. And our courts are allowing it to happen day in and day out, they condone and they reward it.
What’s the motivation for that?
When a mother lists on her financial affidavit, income of $35,000 a year in one column, and virtually no other assets in the other and then lists an outstanding bill of $50,000 owed to her attorney, not counting the latest t court hearings, what does that say?
How many years of child support payments does that calculate out too?
Is that responsible? Is that a responsible parent? Is that responsible parenting? Should that be condoned by the court? Rewarded? Allowed to continue? Pandered too? Accepted?
According to Motions filed, she’s in court that day for two reasons, one to try to get her child support increased and the other to prevent any further contact between the father and the child, already so limited by her behavior to be almost non-existent to begin with.
Neither action justified, yet the Motion is still brought to the court by the custodial parents attorney because that’s what the custodial parent wants done.
The children become a pawn, no more than mere property to be used for a claim to more money. In this instance, hopefully, more money in the pocket of the custodial parent, certainly more money in the pocket of the attorney.
So at the expense of the child the courts have allowed the lawyer to continue the litigation, taking that $50,000 plus the $1,000’s that have already been paid, plus what hasn’t been billed yet, money that should be going to the child and that child’s future but instead ends up in the pockets of the lawyer with no reasonable or logical explanation.
Interestingly, the courts also say the law does not provide that a non-custodial parent has the right to know how child support money is spent. Wonder why that would be? Is it simply an attempt to cover-up what really goes on? Why would one parent not be accountable while the other is?
When the judge or master, as in this case, has in front of them the monthly child support payments provided by the ex equaling the monthly loan payment to the ex’s attorney, it speaks of irresponsibility to the very people these hypocrites sit from the bench and try to say they are thinking of – the children.
How is it in the best of the children to take away their future because one parent wants to fight the other parent for custody or visitation when there are no legal or valid reasons for doing so?
If the courts aren’t happy with a little scrutiny perhaps it’s time they clean their house.
Exposing what goes on behind the scenes will be a win-win situation for all concerned.
Either a corrupt system will be exposed and hopefully righted or a great system will stay a great system because the transparency exists to keep it that way.
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