What To Do As A Rejected Parent?

Here is a valuable twelve minute YouTube video that answers some of the age old questions such as what do you do to deal with your children as a rejected parent.  This video is may also a good tool for older children that may have negative feelings toward a rejected parent. 

The video is entitled “Plight of Rejected Parents - Welcome Back, Pluto DVD Chapter.”  You can click on the video below or past the link below into your web browser. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Puy0hjtedU

You can also find more information about rejected parents on the website of Dr. Richard A. Warshak at http://www.warshak.com/.

Questions Abound As Court Changes Near - From The Citizen Of Laconia Website

Questions abound as court changes near

By BEA LEWIS blewis@citizen.com | Posted: Monday, April 25, 2011 6:00 am

LACONIA — The legislature is reshuffling the state court system, leading to changes at the local courthouse, as well as plenty of questions.

In January, the Judicial Branch Innovation Commission proposed a restructuring of the District and Probate Courts and the Family Division into a new “Circuit Court” aimed at consolidating operations and streamlining the workforce. The original plan called for the changes to be made gradually over 10 years, but in the wake of the budget crisis, the Legislature stepped the deadline up to July 1. Laura Kiernan, a spokesman for the judicial system said when combined with other savings and efficiencies, the changes will result in $37 million in total cumulative savings over 10 years.

An Intelligent Reader Response Regarding The Post On “A Well Written Letter From One Grandparent To Another” Which Was Posted On April 14th 2011.

THE CONTENTS OF THIS COMMENTARY ARE THE AUTHOR'S OPINION.  NO PART THEREOF SHOULD BE CONSTRUED AS FACTS PER SE OR AS LEGAL ADVICE.  THE AUTHOR OF THIS COMMENTARY IS SIMPLY MAKING LAY-PERSON COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS.  BEFORE ACTING, YOU SHOULD RESEARCH THESE MATTERS YOURSELF TO TEST THE VERACITY OF ANY STATEMENTS BELOW:

Grandparents have statutory rights to "reasonable visitation" with their grandchildren per NH RSA 461-A:13.  If there is a pending matter, grandparents can file a "Motion to Intervene" to become parties to the litigation to assert their rights.  This can be especially helpful if an alienated parent is prevented from seeing his/her child due to the "system."  Getting the grandparents of the child, on the alienated parent's side could be a critical "inroad" to re-creating the relationship with the alienated parent.  Your children need exposure to "your side" - SOMEHOW!

Attorney Tracy A. Bernson Joins the Unethical “Wall of Shame”

After a recent letter from a victimized parent, Tracy A. Bernson was added to the list for her involvement in condoning parental alienation. 

The unethical “Wall of Shame” continues to grow.  If you know of a court official, attorney of guardian ad litem that should be on this wall, please send your email to nh.unethical.attorney@gmail.com.  

Marital Master Leonard S. Green and GAL Tracy Bernson Fall Under Fire For Denouncing Parental Alienation – A Letter From A Victimized Parent!

I was before L. Green in late October, 2010 in the Hooksett Family Division.  I am a very informed pro se litigant, with substantial knowledge of the legal system and the family courts, as well as applicable law and procedure.

My appearance before L. Green was intended to be a 15 minute Trial Management Conference.  It turned into a 45 minute lecture from L. Green, telling me that "parental alienation was the buzz word of the 80's and that it doesn’t even exist."  Tracy Bernson, GAL naively agreed.  L. Green continued by telling me that I needed to "hire a lawyer son" and that I "should stick with what I know best, because it isn't law."  I proceeded to get into a discussion with him, in open court, about the history of American jurisprudence and the evolution of the lawyer/barrister in our country's history.  He became visibly enraged, began yelling at me telling me that I "don't know what I am talking about" and that we can save that discussion for another time because I "obviously know nothing about English Common Law."

Many of his opinions have been challenged and he was actually the lower court Judge in Shafmaster v. Shafmaster 138 N.H. 460 (1994) - The NH Supreme Court vacated and remanded his order.

In my opinion L. Green is a prejudicial, loudmouth, ignorant, old man lacking every single skill necessary to manage a courtroom and capacity of a Judge or Marital Master.  I further opine that he is completely incompetent.  He should be removed from service immediately.

Marital Master Leonard S. Green Joins The Unethical "Wall Of Shame"

I recently received correspondence from a person who had the displeasure of dealing with Master Leonard S. Green of the Manchester Family Court.  This person had brought up an issue with their spouse alienating their child.  They were told by Green that Parental Alienation was the buzz word of the 1980’s and it doesn’t even exist. 

Master Leonard S. Green has now been added to the Unethical “Wall of Shame.”  Anyone that would make a statement that parental alienation is a buzz word and it doesn’t exist has no business sitting on the bench and is a disgrace to the family court system.  Just as ignorance is no excuse for violating the law, ignorance is no excuse for destroying a child’s life. 

Go to the Courthouse Forum at the following link and take the survey and rate this Marital Master.  You will note that he has a “D” rating. 

http://www.courthouseforum.com/forums/forum.php?id=800067#forum800067

A Well Written Letter From One Grandparent To Another - From The Blog Of "Courts, Lawyers and a "Mother" Abusing My Son"

Thursday, April 14, 2011

From one grandparent to another

It is only as a last resort and a feeling of sad desperation that I write you this letter. I am hoping, against all odds, that it will somehow make a difference.

Due to the fact that Kerri has chosen to try and eliminate David from Brian’s life, I too have no role, as a loving grandparent, in his life. I can’t help but wonder how you would feel if the situation were reversed and you were kept from contacting or seeing Brian.

NH Guardian Ad Litem Board Looking To Hire Investigator To Investigate Complaints Against GAL's

Original Posting Can Be Viewed At The Following Link http://www.nh.gov/gal/documents/investigator-rfp.pdf

State of New Hampshire

Guardian ad Litem Board

25 Capitol Street - Room 120, Concord, New Hampshire 03301 Phone: (603) 271-1199

TDD Access: Relay NH 1-800-735-2964 Fax: (603) 271-5440

Web site: www.nh.gov/gal E-mail: gal.board@nh.gov

Request for Services

Investigator

Date:

April 4, 2011

Contact Person: Katherine Harmon, GAL Board Secretary

25 Capitol Street – Room 120

Concord, New Hampshire 03301

(603) 271-1199 gal.board@nh.gov

Services Contract Overview

The New Hampshire Guardian ad Litem Board is seeking up to two (2) independent investigators to investigate complaints made against Guardian ad Litems.

The investigators may be an individual or a firm. The service contract is not to exceed $15,000 for labor support. The service contract does not include tax withholding, benefits of any kind, or operations reimbursement costs. Bids will reflect a per hour cost and may include mileage reimbursement.

The Guardian ad Litem Board makes no guarantees as to the number of cases we will refer.

The contract will be for two (2) years, renewable with both parties agreement for another two (2) years. The Board shall have the right to terminate the contract at any time by giving the Contractor a thirty (30) day written notice.

The contract is expected to begin

September 1, 2011, ending August 31, 2013.

Applications are due by 2:30 p.m. EST on

 

The Guardian ad Litem Board was established with the responsibility to oversee the credentialing, activities, and discipline of guardians’ ad litem in New Hampshire. The Guardian ad Litem Board, established by RSA 490-C, currently consists of nine members who are New Hampshire residents and serve without compensation. The term "guardian ad litem" ("GAL") is generally understood to refer to a person appointed by a court to represent the best interest of an individual (usually a child or incompetent adult) in any proceeding where a court deems it necessary to appoint such a person. The nature of a GAL's activity may vary from case to case. Generally a GAL performs those functions deemed necessary under the terms of as particular court's appointment. The appointment might, for example, include a requirement that a GAL make recommendations to the court about what is in the best interest of a recipient of services. A GAL is not appointed to serve as a person's attorney and not all GALs are lawyers. Similarly a GAL is not a general "guardian" appointed to handle the affairs of another.

NH Supreme Court Case Decision In The Matter Of James J Miller and Janet S Todd – An Important Decision On Custody

THE SUPREME COURT OF NEW HAMPSHIRE

___________________________

Portsmouth Family Division

No. 2009-806

IN THE MATTER OF JAMES J. MILLER AND JANET S. TODD

Argued: November 17, 2010

Opinion Issued: March 31, 2011

Law Office of Joshua L. Gordon, of Concord (Joshua L. Gordon on the

brief and orally), for the petitioner.

John P. Carr, of Hingham, Massachusetts, and Elizabeth B. Olcott, of

Concord, on the brief, and Mr. Carr orally, for the respondent.

HICKS, J. The petitioner, James J. Miller, currently a resident of New

York, appeals an order of the Portsmouth Family Division (DeVries, J.),

recommended by the Master (Cross, M.), requiring the parties’ two minor

daughters to continue to live primarily with the respondent, Janet S. Todd, in

New Hampshire. We vacate and remand.

We have reviewed the extensive record in this case and set forth the facts

most relevant to the issues on appeal. Miller and Todd met in 1999 over the

internet and established a relationship. At that time, Miller lived in Michigan

and Todd lived in New Hampshire. Although they never married, their

relationship produced two daughters, Laurel born in 2002 and Lindsay born in

2003. During 2002 and 2003, the parties spent some time living together in

Michigan, Todd and the children spent some time alone in New Hampshire

living with Todd’s parents, and the parties all spent some time together at

Todd’s parents’ house in New Hampshire.

Toward the end of 2003, the parties’ relationship broke down. On

December 23, 2003, Miller obtained an ex parte order in the circuit court in

Michigan granting him sole temporary legal and physical custody of his

daughters. That same day, Todd took the children to her parents’ home in

Hampton, New Hampshire. On January 6, 2004, Todd was served with the

Michigan custody order. On January 15, the Rockingham County Superior

Court, in response to Miller’s petition for enforcement of the Michigan custody

decree, ordered Todd to appear at a hearing and on January 26, the trial court

ordered Todd to bring the children to Miller within twenty-four hours for the

purpose of transferring custody to him.

NH Court Overturns Custody Order - An Important Supreme Court Decision On Child Custody In NH (From The Nashua Telegraph)

NH court overturns custody order

Thursday, March 31, 2011

CONCORD - A Portsmouth Family Court Judge was wrong to award custody of two children to a New Hampshire woman who may have coached them to accuse their father of sexual abuse, the Supreme Court ruled Thursday.

In a unanimous ruling written by Justice Gary Hicks, the high court ordered Portsmouth Family Division Judge Sharon DeVries to reconsider the case of James J. Miller and Janet S. Todd.

Miller, who now lives in New York, and Todd, who lives in New Hampshire, had struck up a relationship in 1999, after meeting online. They lived together for a time in both Michigan and New Hampshire, and had two daughters.

See the court's ruling attached, or on the court's website:

www.courts.state.nh.us/supreme/opinions/index.htm

COMMENTS POSTED ON THE NASHUA TELEGRAPH WEBSITE:

Judge Kelly: Impeachment Probe Would Undermine NH Justice System - From The Website Of The NH Bar Association

Judge Kelly: Impeachment Probe Would Undermine NH Justice System
The following is an excerpt of the testimony provided by Hon. Edwin W. Kelly, Administrative Judge of the District Court and the Family Division at a Feb. 22 hearing of the NH House Judiciary Committee. He was commenting on HR 7, which directed the committee to investigate whether grounds exist to impeach marital master Phillip Cross and/or any justice of the New Hampshire superior court.

NH House investigating impeaching marital master - From The Website Of The Washington Examiner

NH House investigating impeaching marital master

By: The Associated Press 03/16/11 4:01 PM
The Associated Press

New Hampshire's House plans to investigate whether grounds exist to impeach a marital master, a court officer that handles family court cases.

The House voted 242-105 Wednesday to adopt a resolution giving its Judiciary Committee power to conduct the investigation and report back to the House. Supporters argue a series of complaints against Master Phillip Cross merit the expense of investigating further.

Opponents said the allegations arise out of three contentious divorce proceedings and have been shown to be untrue or mischaracterizations.

Marital masters are officers of the court that handle family court cases.

If You Know Of Any Attorneys Anywhere In The Country That Specialize In Helping Clients Deal With Parental Alienation Please Forward Your Information.

 A recent email was sent to this blog asking if we knew of any attorney’s in Maine that can deal with the dysfunctional family court system there and PAS issues.  The writer has lost their children to PAS and like many of us desperately needs to find a good PAS attorney to help them navigate through the system.  Anyone that can provide information on good PAS attorneys in Maine, NH or any other state, please forward your information to nh.unethical.attorney@gmail.com.  I will post their information as a resource.  If I get enough names, I will publish a page dedicated to PAS attorneys. 

Thank you for your support. 

People That Don't Feel Parental Alienation Syndrome Exist Need To Go To The Blog "The Angry Daughter - PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome"

During some recent research on PAS I came across a blog called "The Angry Daughter - PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome"

You really need to read this blog so that you can see just how PAS can effect a person well into there adult life.  I have to praise the Angry Daughter coming forward with her story. 

In the Angry Daughter's blog description she writes, "This blog is about my childhood dealing with PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome cause by my mother. I am 32 years old now & it still effects my life. To those who say there is no such thing you have no clue what you are talking about or maybe you don't want it to be recognized because you are the one's doing it to your kids. My heart aches for those children that get caught in the middle & are treated like a weapon against their other parent." 

The angry daughter's story is very real.  The following is a poem that she wrote and posted. 

Tuesday, 5 February, 2008

Poem To My Mother (From the Angry Daughter)

When you look in the mirror,
Who do you see?

Is it the person you want to be?
Or is it some one whom you do not know.

All of these lies that you know are not so.
Created from hatred revenge & spite.
Why do you bother you have lost this fight...

I have told you time & time again.
I will not rest until the vary end.

Rising above all that is untrue you have told.
Tearing down your lies with every thing that I hold.

I will not be silenced,
I will scream it from afar.

A stronger person I will always be.
For I had to live with a mother like she...

 

 

______________________________________________________

So with this said, please think about what you say to your children about their other parent. 

Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Do You Do When Your Child Stops Seeing You as Mom or Dad?

I recently came across this article on what to do when your child stops seeing you as mom or dad.  This was of personal interest to me. 

As you may recall from one of my recent posts, while speaking with my eleven year old son recently, he said to me that I wasn't a father to him and that I never really was a father to him.  Reading this article made me realize just what is going on in the minds of a child that has been alienated. 

As the article states, "PAS is not a situation that can be managed or controlled. An alienated parent is powerless without successful family therapy or court orders designed to repair the parent/child relationship. All this parent can realistically do is reinforce positive messages to the child—“I love you. I’m still your mother/father. I will always be here for you.” The parent should try and remain calm. He or she shouldn’t raise his or her voice or use force." 

While I feel that this is sound advice, it comes back to the same problem that many of us alienated parents deal with on a regular basis.  We don't have the resources to deal with these issues in court.  I personally was tapped out by my ex-wife and her scheming litigation attorney Jaye Rancourt of BCLI.  Unethical attorney's like Rancourt will try to make you spend all of your money defending yourself.  They are looking to destroy you and break the bank.  Once the bank is broken, if you had an attorney, they will leave you since you no longer have any money.  Watch out for this.  If you go up against Rancourt, this is her method of operation.  Hit hard and destroy the defenders ability to fight back.  She will do this at the expense of your children.  What does this say about Rancourt's ethics as an attorney?

Read the article and let me know what you think. 
_______________________________________
Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Do You Do When Your Child Stops Seeing You as Mom or Dad?
Children’s Voice Magazine, July/August 2004

Imagine observing a normal, healthy, loving parent/child relationship one week, and watching the child profess to hate, refuse to see, or speak with the parent the following week. Mental health professionals can certainly identify inappropriate anger or immaturity issues in children. But just like doctors in the 1970s recognized flu-like symp­toms—fever, headaches, nausea and vomiting—without understanding that their patient had AIDS, many mental health professionals recognize Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) symptoms without understanding what drives the alienating parent and child’s behavior.

Testimony of Stevan Gressitt, M.D. On January 17th 2006 To "Committee On Children and Family Law" Again Gives Disturbing Account Of Issues With The NH Family Court System

I came across the second of Doctor Stevan Gressitt's testimonies on the NH Commission On The Status Of Men website at http://www.nh.gov/csm/pas_gressit.html.  This was testimony given in support of a 2005 house bill.  If you read the testimony, you will see that Dr. Gressitt identifies lots of issues with the family court system in NH.  Dr. Gressitt outlines how the current court system encourages parental alienation.  This testimony was given almost six years ago and today the same problems exist with the NH family courts.  Nothing has changed. 

_____________________________________________________________________________
Testimony in Support of HB 1585

Stevan Gressitt, M.D.

Committee on Children and Family Law

Room 206, LOB

Concord, NH

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

My name is Stevan Gressitt, M.D. and I reside in Unity, Maine. Thank you for the opportunity to support HB 1585. I am a practicing psychiatrist, the Medical Director of Northeast Occupational Exchange in Lincoln, Bangor, Newport, and Portland Maine. I am the founder of the Maine Benzodiazepine Study Group, and currently am on the Executive Committee of the Maine Association of Psychiatric Physicians and the state Psychiatry Work Group responsible for advising the state Medicaid program on psychotropic medications. I was formerly the Chief of Psychiatry for the Department of Corrections for the State of Maine. Before that I was the psychiatrist to the Women’s Prison here in Goffstown, Maximum Security or SHU in Concord, and other sites with the New Hampshire Corrections Department and several county facilities. I also helped teach forensic psychiatry at Dartmouth for several years. I am speaking today from personal clinical experience and am explicitly not representing the position of any organization.

Testimony of Stevan Gressitt, M.D. On March 3rd 2005 Gives Disturbing Account Of Issues With The NH Family Court System

I came across Doctor Stevan Gressitt's testimony on the NH Commission On The Status Of Men website at http://www.nh.gov/csm/pas_gressit.html.  This was testimony given in support of a 2005 house bill.  If you read the testimony, you will see that Dr. Gressitt identifies lots of issues with the family court system in NH.  Dr. Gressitt outlines how the current court system encourages parental alienation.  This testimony was given six years ago and today the same problems exist with the NH family courts.  Nothing has changed. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Testimony of Stevan Gressitt, M.D.

 (HB 529)

Concord, NH

March 3, 2005

My name is Stevan Gressitt, M.D. My relevant background includes serving as a Court Psychiatrist in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts for about 6 years in the 5^th busiest District Court, Lynn assisting in Civil and Criminal matters. Subsequently I was the psychiatrist to the New Hampshire Department of Corrections Maximum Security Unit for about 6 years, and the former Women’s prison at Goffstown for about 7 years. I have also worked in the general population and the Secure Psychiatric Unit. I later became the Chief of Psychiatry for the State of Maine Department of Corrections. Currently I am the Medical Director of a mental health clinic in Bangor, Maine, which received the Lela Rowland Award from the National Mental Health Association in 2002 for Violence and Substance Abuse Prevention. Our clinic is listed as one of the few national model programs with SAMHSA.  I am also the Acting Secretary of the Maine Benzodiazepine Study Group studying prescription use patterns and abuse patterns in Maine, and nationwide, and internationally. Finally I am a charter member of the Maine Guardian Ad Litem Institute and am a trained as but not registered or practicing as a Guardian ad Litem under Maine statute. I am also a member of the National Association of Drug Diversion Investigators.

Do You Need Help In Telling Your Story? If You Have A Story About Parental Alienation, Divorce Or Have Information About Unethical Behavior With The NH Court Staff And Attorneys We Want To Hear From You.

Please feel free to contact us at nh.unethical.attorney@gmail.com if you would like help telling your story about the unfairness in the NH judicial system. 

We need people to come forward with information so that we can work at changing the system.  The first part about change is to educate others about the system.  Help us to educate others by contacting us with your stories. 

How many times do we see in the news a person living in a quite residential neighborhood becomes the focus of the news when they commit an egregious crime?  What I find remarkable are the interviews with the neighbors after an egregious crime happens.  You often hear, “they were a quite person, they kept to themselves, I always said hi to them, he was such a good kid.” 

We have heard it all.  The truth is there are things going on in our neighborhood that the public needs to know about. 

If having your identity online is a concern, don't worry.  We have no issues keeping identities anonymous. 

Thank you for your support. 

Helping To Understand Parental Alienation - The Stolkholm Syndrome

I recently came across this information which was on the NH Commission For The Status Of Men Website.  As I read this I noticed a lot of similarities with what is going on with my children and my ex-wife.  For example I noted the obsessive bonding between my oldest son and my ex-wife plus my children have been isolated from any of my perspectives.  I have highlighted several areas in which I can relate to with my children.  I really feel that to understand the Stockholm Syndrome can help you to cope with what is going on in the minds of your children if they are the victims of parental alienation. 

_____________________________________________________________

Stockholm Syndrome

Bonding to one's captor (abuser) is a survival strategy for victims that has been observed in a variety of hostage-taking situations.

A 2008 Report From The NH Commision For The Status Of Men About Parental Alienation Syndrome

The Following is directly off of the 2008 report from the NH Commission For The Status of Men posted on the State's website.

_____________________________________________________

Parental Alienation Syndrome

During its February 2007 meeting, the Commission invited Dr. Stevan Gressit to talk about issues related to Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Parental Alienation Syndrome is defined by Dr. Richard Gardner as

“a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent."