Fathers Deserve Equal Protections - A Letter Posted On The Keene Sentinel

Fathers deserve equal protections

(From a letter to the Keene Sentinel)

Posted: Sunday, October 2, 2011 9:00 am

Fathers deserve equal protections

An American tragedy, rarely reported by the media, is how unfairly many divorced fathers are treated in the Family Court.

The court justifies this, claiming to act in the best interests of children. Is it in the best interest of children to put their fathers in jail when Daddy has lost his job, can’t find work, and falls behind in his support payments? Why aren’t the courts flexible, especially in today’s economy?

While it is a father’s responsibility to support his children, it is the court’s execution of this principle that is often so disturbing.

The court’s intransigence can extend to men who are not fathers, too. Recently, DNA proved a man was not the biological father. He was ordered to keep on paying. This is justice?

Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome

DIVORCE RELATED MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME

PUBLISHED IN

JOURNAL OF FAMILY VIOLENCE

VOLUME 10, NUMBER 3, PAGES 253-264 (1995)

BY
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

Venice, Florida

An updated version of this article by Dr. Ira Turkat changed the title to Divorce Related Malicious Parent Syndrome. A copyof the updated version follows this article below


With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a pattern of abnormal behavior has emerged that has received little attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and prevention appear ripe for investigation.

Here are some Common Characteristics of Female Abusers Symptoms (for Male Victims)

This is part of an article online that I found by R.P. BenDedek and can be seen at the following link: http://www.magic-city%20news.com/R_P_BenDedek_33/Emotional_Abuse_Pt_4_Male_Victims_o%20f_Abuse9369.shtml.

Section 7. (a.)    Are you an abused Male?

Here are some Common Characteristics of  Female Abusers Symptoms (for Male Victims) 

• She was verbally abused as a child, witnessed it in her own family, or was verbally abused by a previous partner.
• She has low self-esteem.
• She has an intense temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
• Her sense of power or control depends on her partner's acquiescence and his performance per her demands. She feels "in control" only if her partner is totally passive and giving in to all of her preferences and decisions.
• She has rigid expectations or fantasies of marriage, partnership, or men, and will not compromise. She expects him to behave according to her expectations of what her partner should be like; perhaps the way her parents' marriage was, or its opposite. She demands that he change to accommodate her expectations.
• She projects the blame for all relationship difficulties onto her partner. She wouldn't get angry if only he would be who she wants him to be... She wouldn't drink if he didn't make her unhappy... She denies the need for counseling because there's "nothing wrong with her, only with him." She might not want him to get counseling because she's threatened by the threat of an outsider "taking sides" with him.
• Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire to control their mates.
• Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Her primary, if not exclusive, relationship is with her husband/boyfriend.
• She may be described as having a dual personality -- she is either sweet or exceptionally cruel and sharp. She is selfish or generous depending on her mood.
• A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. She can be sweet, calm, charming and convincing.
• The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn't relate to her partner as a person in his own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when she's angry. She assumes that he is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant other -- often her father (or other family member or authority figure).